And the case of the missing keys

Do Gremlin's exist? Moving your clock back, stealing keys, killing batteries. If so that would explain a lot. So far since January, I have gone through 2 Ipods, 1 digital camera, and 1 shelf stereo system. I have also lost the following:

1 set of keys and a winter jacket
1 set of keys and a golf jacket
1 set of display case keys for work
3 socks
1 pair of goggles
1 pair of mittens
5 touques
1 bandana
1 balaclava
1 pair of jeans ( I woke up with no pants on and I have noooo idea what happened)
$54.36 roughly
1 skateboard helmet
My viginity (ha ha)

Where's Encyclopedia Brown when you need him? 25 cents a day plus expenses. Even I can afford that.

-Pickle

PS. If you happen upon any of those items please let me know.

That'l be sweet on the wall

I think I hit a deer. Metaphorically speaking. My life so far has been one big car trip. Sure there have been some detours, construction, and speed bumps along the way, but nothing major. Just cruising along when WHAM!!!!! out jumps a deer. Now I've had my run ins with other woodland craetures. Friend getting married, whoops, bye bye squirrel. Baby shower, shit I just hit a skunk. 2 weddings 1 weekend, there goes a family of mice. But this weekend it felt like I hit a deer and my car is broken. Rewind to thursday night: I got wasted, like loser drunk. Around 4 in the morning I finally crawl into bed. Get up go to work, a little tired, but I put in a good day. That night, engagement pasrty. Not only am I the only single guy there, but I find out so and so's having a baby. Well 2 bottles of wine later I make an ass of myself and go home. Saturday night: Another bachelor party. I remember why I don't drink pop and booze as I'm watching the delicous Thai dinner exit my mouth onto the street at 10:30 pm. Then I procede to stumble around, yell at some people, and puke some more. Well adult hood thank you for running into me this weekend. I hope we meet agin soon.

-Pickle

Nick Cannon's set for life

I have a new favourite movie genre, "Feel good black movies." You know the ones that are based on a true story. They usually involve some ghetto school where the teacher/coach/principal is a hard ass but later on you realize he has a soft side. There is usually the token white guy, a pregnancy scare, some pissed off parents, etc. And they are usually based off a true story, just like Drumline. They aren't always about black people though, they can also be about latino's. But that's about it. For some reason asians and natives get left out of this whole "we can overcome anything" movie scenarios. They get sweet movies like Platoon and Dance Me Outside.

-Pickle

It's called a hipsack.

I don't know why I bought a digital camera. I never use it. Last night is a prime example. As I get ready to leave the house I thought, "Why don't I bring my camera?" "Oh yea, I don't have a purse." So, I left it at home. Now I'm not saying I have the best taste in fashion, but a murse? C'mon. I could probably pull off a fanny pack though. So coming soon to "my life in a pickle jar" will be a new weekly feature "Hangover's and Hipsacks" just you wait and see.

-pickle

PS. To all the guys in the club, chill out. Girls are not there to be treated like a piece of meat. I should hope that your mothers raised you better than that.

Freedom 35

I have decided to turn $10.00 into 1 million. I don't know how to do it or how long it will take, but I am going to do it. I am going to start with penny stocks and work my way up to faster paying methods. ( Don't worry mom I won't be selling drugs, or will I? No, I won't) So here's to freedom 35.

-Pickle

Like Burt and Loni it's over

As I woke up to the sound of snow pants swish swishing, I realized that summer is officially over. Good. I friggen hate the heat. Fall is definitely the best season for the following reasons:
-Sweaters. Especially ones with either kittens, dragons, wolves, or ones that your grandma knit. You.
-Touques. That's right they are not called beanies. Especially if they have a sweet pom pom or are a balaclava or ninja mask.
-Fallen Leaves. I live in a neighborhood with lots of old trees and let me tell you there is nothing sweeter than the sound of leaves crunching underneath your feet.
-No more Flip Flops, shorts, belly shirts, etc... I hate seeing a persons gross toes, hairy legs, muffin top, etc...
-Video Premiers. As winter approaches so do the new snowboard videos. That means video premiers, wich in turn means getting risky.

So I welcome Fall, Winter, and Spring with open arms. I know come March I will be all like "I hate winter, when's summer going to be here" but, for now I am ready for it.

-Pickle

The Reality of Rockstar Dreams

I like that most of my friends work outside. When it rains they don't have to work and can start drinking at 1:30 in the afternoon. This is fine with me because I can meet up with them and try and catch up. This is what happened yesterday:

-Go to the ship and right away we leave. (Someone needed to supply his herbal habit)
-Drive all the way up to crowfoot to buy weed, end up sitting in the car for like 45 mins. Buy the time we left the windows were more fogged up than prom night.
-Go to Nicastro's. If you have never been there, I don't really recomend it. There is no jukebox and something like 100 tv's. Plus some waitresses who have been on the venga bus for the last 30 yrs. They partied with Elvis, The Stones, Fleetwood Mac, etc...
-Go to Broken City. Where we procede to get loose. I don't like to be associtaed with scenesters and the likes, but it was a good night. The music was good, drinks were less than $5.00, and the people were fun. There were ambiguous guys, girls who danced to hard and their makeup ran all over them and their hair was a total mess, and not to many college kids. Scott got a little risky and left me the sweetest phone message at 5 in the am. I ran into some people I hadn't seen in many many moons.
-Went home to sleep because I have to work today and don't get the pleasure of "rain days"

-Pickle

Oh yeah, we will be heading to Coyote's tonight for a Solo Mobile dealy. Free drinks if you have an in. And, if you ever get the chance to ride with Beach in the Lahey mobile, do it. It is better than any roller coaster ride out there. He will scare the shit out of you.

My rockstar dreams will one day become a reality

That's it, I am quitting my job to become a professional air guitarist. Sure it may not pay a lot, but I don't make that much right now anyways. I could travel around the circut, doing only Iron Maiden and Van Halen pieces. Drinking Pilsner and PBR's everynight to loosen myself up. That would be the life. I wonder if air guitarists have groupies. I sure hope so. I imagine mine having big hair, ripped motorhead shirts, tattoos of flaming skulls with daggers throught them and snakes going through the eyes, or wolves or unicorns. Pretty much any sweet lady who's down for a good time. They would be called the picklettes, and they would follow me around. Man that would be sweet.

-Pickle

As Ma$e would say..

Welcome Back, welcome back, welcome back.

I have decided that Vancouver is like an ex girlfriend. Fun when you were with her, but now things are kinda weird when you see each other. And thanks to booze you make it even more awkward between you. I won't bore you with the details, but here are the highlights:

- Renee Renee. If you don't know who he is, you should.
- Cheap drinks at a fashion/industry party. I was "that guy" that night. Some how after drinking my weight in vodka sodas I ended up in Yaletown. Which wasn't that bad , except I was staying in Stanley Park. Thanks to the yuppies who invited me in to their Wednesday night party.
- 2 weddings. More free drinks than you could shake a stick at. I can say that mom must have been proud of me the 1 night when I was on the 9th hole.
- Discovering that you can get PBR's at the BCL's. This was the best part of my trip, I was probably the most stoked I have ever been in my entire life.
- The Dalai Lama. Yes that's right, the 14th reincarnation of Buddha himself was in Van the same time as me. I also got to see him, while I enjoyed my morning hangover cure, as he was staying in the same hotel as the tradeshow was being held in.
-Saturday and Saturday Night- I got back on Saturday and had dinner with a freind and an experience and a half on Sat night. Thank you for driving me home in my extremely disorientated state.

-Pickle

Like my Dad when I was born.....

I'M OUTA HERE.
That's right Calzgary, I am taking a much needed quasi vacation. The worst part of the trip will be the amount of driving I have to do, thankfully Ipod number 3 showed up before I left.

Here are the top 15 songs that will be played.

1. Clap Your Hands and Say Yeah - My yellow country teeth. Any song you can car dance to automatically goes .
2. Curtis Mayfield - Move on up (extended version) over 5 minutes of pure awsomeness.
3. Three 6 Mafia - Sippin on some szurp/Stay Fly remix. We gots to keep it Crunked up in here
4. Jay Z ft Dead Prez - Hell yeah remix.
5. Gnarles Biggie - Smiley Faces Hypnotize. Again, car dancing
6. Sniff N Tears - Drivers seat.
7. Ray Charles - What I Say. It's a classic
8. Louis XIV - Finding out true love is blind
9. AC/DC - Highway to Hell. What's a road trip with out AC/DC? Crap, that's what it is.
10. The Roots- Don't feel right
11. Knaye West ft Paul Wall - Drive Slow. You have to have a lot of songs about driving
12 A Tribe Called Quest - Can I Kick it? yes you can
13. Nice N Smooth - Sometimes I rhyme slow sometimes I rhyme quick
14. Marley Marl - The Symphony ft Big Daddy Kane. SOOOOOO GOOOD
15. Earth Wind and Fire - Dancing in September


That should be great for a trip but if you want to throw any of the following artists in the mix you should be safe:

Johnny Cash
Wu-Tang Clan (or any of their solo projects)
Biz Markie
Sly & The Family Stone
Young MC
Metallica
etc, etc

Have great long weekend

-Pickle