MY LIfe In A Pickle Jar: December 2006

Ro Shambrodownredbullfest: A night in review

The following takes place in Calgary, Alberta between 8:00 pm and 2:00 am

8:00 - 9:00 Show up an hour early* and help set up. Have a couple of beers and a vodaka and redbull sugar free. My mom has made me all scared about diabetes so for the last 3 months i have not had any candy or rum and am trying to watch my sugar intake.

9:00-11:00 Procede to drink way more than I should on an empty stomache. Talk to people, get my photo taken, watch videos, etc...

11:00-1:45 Somehow we manage to convince the bouncers that we are important people and are on the guestlist at HiFi. The people in line are not to impressed. Drink more and become amazed at how awsome Dan Brisse is. Absolutly amazing.

1:45 - 2:00 Get a ride home, puke, and go to sleep hoping I don't see the mouse.

* My parents, the amazing people that they are, are late for everything. So I feel the need to over compensate and be an hour to half hour early.

Happy Holidays

-Pickle

Let the holiday waste fest commence

It's officially that 2 week period where it's all about overindulgence. Too much food, too much to drink, too much fun. Last night was Scott's Birthday. Stuff happened and fun was had.

I have what the proffesionals call a little bit of a drinking problem.

Kiss the bling bitch

It's been a while for Dustin so he had to try his moves on the snake.

Yes he's that guy right now.

And the night ends with everyone on the dancefloor.

-Pickle

Where's Nick Cannon?

Are you as excited as I am? It's like the geniuses behind You Got Served and Drumline decided to get together and make one hella mega movie. All that's missing is an older "Coach" type figure, sassy white kid, and smart alleck fat kid to become the most ultimately wrong portrayal of college ever.

-Pickle

Spelink werdz wronge iz stoopid

I spell so many words wrong that I must be mildly retarded. Either that or a super genius! If messy handwriting is supposedly a sign of geniusness, then why not bad spelling. Infact, why not many of the other things that I do horribly.

Here are the things that I completely suck at:

- Foosball, pool, darts, pretty much any bar game. I would like to thank my parents for the sweet "I have bad eyesight" gene. I pretty much have no hand-eye coordination, even with my contacts in, and it definatle shows when I play foosball.

- Simon. I quite possibly have the worst short term memory ever. So many times have I went to my room to grab something only to forget why I went there. So needless to say simon is not the game for me.

- Scrabble. When you can't spell baught (bought) right how the heck am I ever going to win scrabble.

-Pickle

Weekly Feature: Celebrity that I hate this week.

To kick off a new weekly feature I figured I'd start with the person who I believe is the most overated talentless hack there is......

Gwen Stefani. That's right I said it. For years I have had to listen to people blab on and on about how original she is, how great her music is, and how much they like her style. Fuck, seriously, I hate her. She hasn't changed her look since she started, it's still that mid 90's ska chic. Her music is over produced and boring. And don't even get me started on the harjuko girls. What's the deal wit those? Did you find some Asian exchange students down on their luck? So for being overated and useless, Gwen Stefani, you are the celebrity I hate this week.

-Pickle

Wait till you hear my shit, it's next level.

I just bought a new keyboard last week. It's not what you'd call the best, but it has a drum beat on it. That's the most important part. I have absolutely no idea how to play it, but my morning jam sessions have been off the meat rack. Now if I could only figure out how to play the recorder and the keyboard at the same time I would have my own record contract. Watch for my new band Tuna Sandwich on Rye. Our myspace will be up soon.

-Pickle

No more calzones for me

I have been having the most fucked up dreams lately. I think it has to do with all the oregano we've been using. I'm not going to go into them because they are a little disturbing, however, it has made me want to stop cookin Italian again. Because I may end up with a mullet, sucking at soccer, smelling bad, and moving back in with my parents.

-Pickle

More than just the Jazz

I have never really travelled the States. Sure I have been to Seattle, Vegas, and the likes, but they are so full of Canadians that it doesn't really seem that different. So imagine the shock to my system when I went to Utah last week. WOW, Man. What a culture shock. But, a lot happened, here's the things that made my trip.

Top 5 things about being in Utah:

5. Spanish TV - I could not understand a single word spoken, but the girls were hot and there were some good fights.
4. Hot Sauce - No matter where you go in the U.S. there are a lot of Mexicans and they like their hot sauce.
3. The amount of free drinks that were consumed by me - Even though the beer was only 3.2 % the hard alcohol wasn't watered down.
2. My roomate from Virginia - I had the pleasure of sharing a room in our hotel with Greg. He was from Virginia and he snored as loud as me, farted as much as me, drank more than me, and was pretty much my smoking buddy all weekend.
1. The Rock the Bells Tour - Not only did I get to see Raekwon, Redman, DJ Kool, Smif N Wessun, and Supernatural, but they were staying in our hotel.

Worst 5 things about Utah:

5. Forgetting my camera - There were so many funny things that I saw. From the "MenLove" liscence plate to the 50 yr olds getting jiggy with it during Raekwon. All the oppertunities that were missed because I forgot my camera in my glove compartment.
4. Every thing to do with the airlines - Not getting a fire exit seat, them losing my luggage, not being allowed to bring my hot sauce on the plane, the price of beer, having to be there 2 hrs early, customs officers, pretty much everything to do with flying.
3. American cigarettes and no strip clubs - The 1 and only srip club in all of Utah is in Park City and right before we got there it was shut down. Now I'm not saying I love strip clubs, but when you are with about 25 guys for a while sometimes you need to reduce the "gay" factor. And I'm sorry, but Marlboroughs are no Export A's.
2. The price of a cab in Park City - To go 1 mile was $15.00 but I only had 10 so i got a deal, but seriously, rip off.
1. 3.2 % Alcohol in the beer - No explanation needed.

-Pickle

Pictures, the lazy mans blog

Not only is December that month where that one guy was supposedly born, but it's also full of birthdays. (mine included) And it was a couple people's last weekend.