Lately it's the little things

I am not a coffee person. Never have been and probably never will be. I don't need that jolt first thing to get me going. I do, however, love my morning shower. It's probably the best part of the day. And it's getting even better. The drain is finally unclogged. Gone are the days of standing in Lake Dirty Bathwater, it's now a constant flowing river. I also got a new radio for the bathroom. No longer am I singing to myself, now I can rock out to Donna Summer and Lionel Ritchie in mono (not stereo, there is only one speaker). And probably the best thing about showers is that you can do anything in them. Have sex, eat, shave, and my two most favourite things, brush my teeth and drink beer.

Brushing your teeth in the shower is hands down the best way to brush your teeth. It's like the first time you try iced tea. For years you had only known tea to be dranken hot. Then one day when you are your friends house, who's mom let's him drink sugary stuff, he offers you a glass of iced tea. What! Tea that is cold and sweet and not bitter in any way. No way. It's exactly like that. For years we have brushed our teeth with cold water from the sink, all the while not realizing that in the shower you can spit wherever you want and it just washes off.

Shower beer is a rare treat, kind of like going home for a nice dinner. It's fun every once in a while, but if you do it to much you get fat and you get annoyed of your mom asking you why you don't have a girlfriend.

-Pickle

Screw you quiznos

It comes as no surprise that I love food. You can tell by my rotund physique, that I love it more than I should. I love it all, Mexican, Italian, Schnitzel. Thai, Vietnamese, etc, etc... But, there are few things that get me excited more than a sandwich. The perfect sandwich is an art form. Anyone can make a sandwich, but it's the little things that make it special.

Rules of Sandwich Making:

- Whenever possible use good bread. Preferably anything that is longer than 3 ft and comes unsliced. Or use a bun, it gives it that little bit of class.

- Make sure that there are condiments on both pieces of bread. Also, when it comes to condiments ketchup, yellow mustard, and mayo are not options. Did Leonardo DaVinci use crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel? No. Condiments are meant to enhance the flavour. Use a dijon mustard or a horseradish mayo. You will thank me later.
- Absolutely do not put butter or margarine on it. There is an exception though. If you are making beef dip you may use garlic butter, but that is the only rule.
- Make sure that there is more than one layer of meat. If you are a vegetarian ignore this rule. The meat is foundation that everything else is built upon. It should be at least 2 layers thick and a couple of varieties as well. If possible use "real" meat, not the stuff that you bought from the deli. Do not, I repeat DO NOT use bologna. You are not 4 yrs old and should have acquired taste buds by now.

- Vegetables and fruits are a good thing. Try thinking outside the box on this one. Mango's, avocados, papaya, all go really nicely with chicken. The old Canada Food Guide ( I am not up to date with the new one) suggests 5-10 servings of fruit and vegetables a day. Why not enjoy them and try something new?

- Always add bacon. Not only is it good tasting, but it will also add that extra little crunch.

- Cheese is a must. Any cheese will do. As long as it is on, you will not be disappointed.

Follow these guidelines and your love for the sanwich will blossom like a spring flower.

-Pickle

Corey Hart for Prime Minister

I rarely watch the news, I don't know why, but it's rarely on the tv in my household. I did, however, flip to it just in time to see the Canadian Budget highlights. What the f is up with the lady wearing sunglasses behind the speaker? Seriously are you that hungover from the weekend that your'e eyes are still bloodshot, or, are you just that cool? Last time I checked being a politician wasn't exactly a dream job.

-Pickle

What's Up What's Up What's Up

I was going to write about how great my St. Patrick's day celebrations were and post a bunch of pictures about the night and little comments on them, but, to tell the truth I can't remember much of the night. The day started off fine, 7 people crammed into a truck to enjoy a rainy day at Lake Louise. A couple hrs and beers later and it's back to Calgary. A couple of more beers and some RBV's and it's off to What's Up Cafe for another Bonvoyage party. After that it's a bit of a haze, but this is what I do remember:
- Dance circle with pants around the ankles
- 2 different people dancing on my shoulders
- Multiple scumstaches
- Champagne and Johnny Walker
- The fact that that place was to hot and to sweaty and the bartenders are idiots

I'll spare you the photos as they are pretty horrible

-Pickle

Yet another reason to hate Elliot Gould

Why is it that old mafioso and jewish guys always get the good glasses? They already have the best cars and suits. Once again I spent a day looking for new frames, as I am almost legally blind and need new glasses, only to find nothing. It's like trying to find a new pair of wallabees, impossible.
-Pickle

Don't forget to Spay or Neuter your pets

The last couple of days have been spent in a haze of Nyquil, Dayquil, Cough Syrup, Neo Citron, Advil, Cold FX, and various other forms of cold relief. I am now over the worst part and getting ready to feel better. I have no idea where this came from or how a lot of people I know got it. But one thing is for certain, we all have the same thing.
Yesterday was a complete waste. I didn't leave the house at all. I did, however, get a chance to watch my alltime favourite stayathomesicktvshow, The Price is Right. Bob has been there for all the big ones. The chicken pox in 86', the week long hospital stays of 84' and 85', and countless faking escapades and skip days. I always thought he would be there for my kids too, if I ever have any. Imagine my surprise when I find out yesterday that he only has 70 more shows left. Gone are my dreams of ever hearing "Dylan Maas come on down. Your'e the next contestant." And wearing a shirt that says "Canada Loves Bob." It just won't be the same. Bob, I'm gonna miss you.

-Pickle

I Am Sick

I am legitamently sick. Shivers, shakes, sweats, puking, all of those make me feel not so good.

This Shit is Bananas

Like every other adult I should have been in bed by 10:30 last night, unfortunately I am not all that gorwn up and decided that I should go to Certified Bananas last night. Now I'm tired, a little hung over, and sore, but it was worth it.

Here are the highlights becasue I still don't have a fanny pack and forgot my camera:
- Some girl pushing Scott's face into her cleavage and trying to make out with him
- The "special" ginger snap cookie
- Seeing Celine and others that have been hermitting it up all winter
- The amount of trash that got spewed by my after a couple of drinks
- The super tall girl wearing a Dr Dre T-shirt.

MyGayHusband on Sat. Why is it that Friday nights suck and Saturdays there is too much to do?

-Pickle