Once youv'e been pickled you can't be a cucumber again

As my weekend of absolute wastedness came to a close last night, I realized that I didn't spend that much money this weekend. I wanted to thank everyone for the free booze on Friday night and the drink tickets on Saturday and the 2 6-packs of AGD last night. I walked away from this bender 20 dollars less than when I started, Sweeeeeeet. My liver has taken a beating and I lost my stomache lining a couple of times but it was all good. So to celebrate cheapness here is a list of beers that won't harm your wallet or your head too much.

Top 10 Cheap beers that won't make you feel like midgets are break dancing on your brain.

10. Maximum Ice
09. Bowen Island Pilsner
08. Mickeys
07. Black Label
06. Pabst Blue Ribbon (should be number 1 but, you can't get it in Canada)
05. Brewhouse
04. Lucky
03. Old Milwakee
02. Alberta Genuine Draft
01. Pilsner

Everything else is just crap

-Pickle

A world without cable, that's just blasphemous

I never had cable growing up. (We lived in the boonies and our tv was a 13 incher that was rarely watched) So, when I went to university the first thing I did was get cable. This was the hay day for late night YTV. Classic Canadian teen shows like Breaker High and Student Bodies and Are You Afraid of the Dark? kept me away from my studies. (And made me fail accounting) So imagine my surprise when I see none other than Ross Hull and Chris Murphy from Katts and Dogg now telling me if it's going to rain or not. I guess thos paychecks ran out eh boys? On another weather note former anchor woman Helena Devries now lives in Marda Loop. I have seen her at Blockbuster and buying wine and naked in my dreams.

-Pickle

For those about to rock

How exactly did Jack Daniels get associated with Rock 'n' Roll? You'd figure since most musicians are struggling artists that they'd drink Royal Reserve or Five Star or some other cheap crap. Is it a status symbol? Is it like rappers rapping about Crystal? Anyways let me tell you that it tastes good and when shared at a rocker party with friends it goes down even better. Especially while watching someones girlfriend throw up, drink more, then throw up .

-Pickle

how come

No One ever makes me sweet flyers for my birthday. Go to this on fri night to see me forget my name.

What's wrong with clear heels mommy?

What happened to the strippers? They used to be so raunchy. Naked by the end of the second song and if there were 2 girls then WHOA!! Now they have these shitty routines planned out, they don't get naked untill the end of the third song, then they roll around on a blanket for 20 mins while you throw loonies at them. And to top it all off, they want 3 dollars for a fricken poster. I'm sorry ladies but I just sat through 30 mins of the worst dance routine ever just so you could get back at your dad for not giving you enough hugs. (or too many) You are not getting 3 dollars for a shitty keychain, magnet, or poster. On the plus side though, beer was $4.75 (from what i remember). So if you haven't gone to the strippers since you were 21. (Like me) It's not going to be as fun as you remembered.

-Pickle

And now for something completely different

GOING TO THE PEELERS WITH PICKLE

will fill you in tommorrow

Je Deteste le poisson

I sure am glad that I don't live in Victoria. (Or Montreal where the give grants for anything) Really bad entertainers, no shitty jewelery booths, and no one trying to sell me their stoner paintings that they painted when the popped 2 hits of acid in college. That being said, I went to the fringe festival on Sunday. Where everything I hate about Victoria was in a 3 block radius. It seemed like anyone who had an idea for anything got to preform or a booth.
"What's that you do?"
"Oh I do really bad cowboy poetry while my freind plays the banjo with his penis."
"Fine then you are preforming at 3:00"

And why is it whenevr someone starts a new shitty barstar clothing company it always has some sort of sexual conentation to it? Shocker, pornstar, boner. What's next? Cracked out hooker who will get you off for some blow money industries.

-Pickle

freakalic

Sometimes something just makes your day soo good. Like you feel all warm and fuzzy inside and you forget about all the world's troubles. Midgets make me feel that way. I don't know what it is with 14th St, but since I've moved i have seen midgets driving 6 times. I didn't even know there were that many little people in Calgary. I'm sure they must feel the same way when seeing a giant such as myself.

Now I have my thinking done for me

We have cable again!!!!! Yay. Now I can watch sweet movies like Billy Jack. I love how in every movie from the 70's the fight scenes were always kung fu. Is it because people just came back from Vietnam and were all stoked on Asian culture? Anyways, cable I'm glad you are back.

-Pickle

It's not August in Alberta unless....

IT SNOWS!!!
That's right. There was a good 2 inches of snow on the drive in to work this morning. And speaking of the drive to work, I have to say that as a whole, Calgarians have the worst taste in music. Now granted, I have been turned on to some new music by various people, but there are always a few black sheep in the heard. Songs number 1 and 2 on the hot 6 at 6 were by Nelly Furtado and Nickleback. Seriously make me gag. Nickleback, more like Brokeback. So thank you radio for making me never forget my cd's again.


-Pickle

Third times a charm

So today I ordered Ipod number 3. Number 1, I found out this morning, has a fucked up hard drive. Number 2's charger area somehow got bent and it's to hard to fix. (for some strange reason, it's just a bent miece of metal) So a big F.U. to my mac dealer on Macleod trail. Thanks for nothing you retards, and you will never see a dime from me.

-Pickle

LOOOOOOOOOOOONG WEEKEND

5 Best things about the Long weekend we just had

5. Friday Night and Saturday morning
4. BBQ - seriously some ama-zing grilling going on, on Sunday night.
3. Going to the beach- Is it really a lake if it's only tit deep?
2. Getting a weekend for the 6th time this yr - I usually work 6 days a week so when I get a 3 day weekend it's heaven.
1. Napping - I caught up on the last 10 yrs of lack of sleep this weekend.

5 Worst things about this weekend

5. Tuesday- Yes coming back to work sucks. Sometimes I wish I was on welfare.
4. Listening to my dad yack and yack about his philosphy on life - O.K. I get it, you have the right idea throwing away everything you worked for. Just another European trying to be a Native.
3. Sunburning my nose - Now it looks like a bunch of dried snot is on it.
2. Having basic cable - The cable company shut off the deluxe cable on Friday and we had basic cable all weekende. Do you know how much daytime tv really sucks? No Maury, no Judge Joe Brown, no TBS. Seriously hell.
1. Smashing the back window out of my car - Nuff Said

-Pickle

But they taste sooo good

Why?

I know taking the cheaters way out but I haven't had much sleep in the last week and I think I am going crazy.

-Pickle

Like a red headed stepchild

I am not looking foward to when these make a comeback, especially the ones with big flairs. Thankfully tonight, I won't be seeing those. Yes it's going to be all scenesters, hipsters, and art fags but at least the music will be good.

-Pickle

Gold Digger

One day my dream will come true. And I won't have to live in a basement suite, where my neighbours fill up shopping carts with trash and leave them in my driveway. I won't have to drive 50 km's to work everyday, where my neighbour once again, throws trash in my driveway. What is with my driveway?

-Pickle